When Life is in Charge

If there's one thing that I have learned in my mid- to late-20s--and one thing that gains salience in my life with each passing year--it's that things rarely go as planned in life. At least, that is, if you leave the door "open," so to speak, and let life drive you a little more rather than always trying to control the reigns of life yourself.

Some people might call my choice to let life guide me through the days weak, or passive, or directionless. Maybe some will see me as full of fear to face "reality"; I say let them. What I've discovered, for me, is that beautiful and unexpected things happen when you LET THEM.

Of course, this isn't to say that I don't exhibit some level of control over my life. I am still human, and therefore practice free will and choice as much as anybody else, but I like to think that sometimes, life knows better than I do.

I never anticipated staying in Korea for two years in my late-20s, and now I am faced with the crossroads of staying a third year. There is now a possibility that I could be employed at a university in Jinju, beginning with the new semester in March. This would mean putting off my desired months of travel through Asia and my inevitable homecoming to Oregon another year... But... That's not actually sounding too bad to me right now. And, it would mean spending my 30th birthday in the Himalayas of Nepal come early spring 2013 (that is, assuming something ELSE unexpected doesn't come up). I could think of far worse things...

Sometimes, I do find myself asking the question "When should I take a little more control over my life and set some goals and put everything into reaching those goals? When is enough enough?" But, then I remind myself that there are many ways to "live" a life and mine is just one of those many. So long as I am happy, healthy, and spending my time doing something productive and meaningful and learning some things along the way, it can't be THAT bad, right?

I am nine days away from leaving Korea and heading onward to Malaysia and India, and at this point in time I have no idea whether I'll be coming back to this crazy country, or whether I'll continue to embark on a much-awaited journey through Asia. How to pack up my life of the past two years for this situation, I don't know. How I feel about this, I also don't know. On the day of my departure, I may not know whether I'm coming back--ever. It will be strange, making such a big transition under the cloud of uncertainty, but I guess strangeness and uncertainty is a feeling I've become quite accustomed to.

So, the only thing I can do is what I've always done--take it one day at a time, enjoy the moment, soak in the world around me and just go with the flow, seeing where life takes a turn next... :)